Marriage

List of items for Wedding and Upanayana:

Preparations at home for the Wedding: 

List of Items required for the Wedding at Choultry :

Items required for performing Puja: 

Raju Kshatriyas have a distinctive set of marriage rituals which makes it unique. Though the wedding ceremony is based on Hindu traditions, it has many rituals which are peculiar and thus gives a special cultural identity to the community.

However, like most of the communities of the modern times Raju Kshatriya community is also facing the challenge of cultural amnesia. Hence, the huge responsibility lies on the shoulders of every individual of the community, especially on youths to preserve their cultural identity for the generations to come. 

Shedding light on the pace of modern society is important here; earlier, the marriage rituals were prolonged and the whole ceremony of wedding lasted not less than five days. Nevertheless, the same cannot be expected in the present daycontext. Today, the whole event of marriage is confined to a day and a half. Earlier, the rituals were held in detail at the residence of brides and bridegrooms; but in today’s world they are tailormade to suit the time and venue. 

Most of the marriage rituals are now held in convention halls/choultry (Kalyana Mantapa) only. However, we need to graciously acknowledge the role of our elders for taking initiatives to keep these rituals going and thus preserving the distinctive cultural identity the community has. The baton now rests in the hands of the youngsters, who have to stand the test of time and preserve the cultural essence for the generations to come…

Customs and Rituals held during the wedding ceremonies of Raju Kshatriyas: 

Devatha Karya or Blessings of the Divine

The auspicious event of marriage gets a kick start in both the houses of the bride and the groom by offering prayers to the household deities they worship respectively. 

To mark the event of marriage, the houses of both the bride and the groom are well-decorated and given a facelift. The ceremonious event gets a start with erecting Chappara (an artificial roofing structure erected before the homes of bride and the groom using wooden planks and green coconut branches) which is done under the supervision of elders.

The elder Sumanglis of the family performs a puja to the Chappara and do the offerings. On this day of the commencing of the rituals of marriage, both bride and the groom perform the puja to Chapparas erected before their homes respectively. This is done after taking the oil and turmeric bath.

Worship of Household Deities and Custom of filling Madilakki

This ritual is mostly held at the place of bride to seek the blessings of the household deity. A ‘Y’ shaped banyan stick which signifies the household diety is stuck in a utensil filled with sand. The stick is also called “haalu kambha” (Milk post). Then, milk is poured on it. Navadhanya (nine types grains) and navaratna (nine types of gems) are consequently placed in the utensil. 

Later, this is placed besides the holy Tulasi (basil) plant and a puja is performed with ‘shodashopachara’ (a worship made with 16 steps). In addition to this, a kalasha (a sacred metal pot topped with a coronet of coconut and betel leaves) is arranged. This is, then, placed by the side of haalu kambha and is worshipped by the parents of the bride. This haalu kambha, accompanied with the navadhanya grass specially cropped for the occasion in a large bamboo or wooden tray, is brought to choultry before the arrival of the bride, by the elders. Both are placed in the bride’s room.

The custom of ‘madilakki filling’ (here the bride’s sari pallu is filled with things that represent prosperity -- rice, jaggery, coconut and others and is tied) is done under the guidance of the elders by the Sumangalis. This madilakki will be untied only before the navadhanya grass placed in her room at the choultry.

Simultaneously, preparations are made at the bridegroom’s place to start for the choultry. One of the maternal uncles or the cousins of the groom ties down bananas, coconuts and blouse pieces in a red cloth as this is considered as auspicious and is brought to the choultry.

Note: 

Navadhanya grass is grown for the occasion in order to perform several rituals of the wedding. For this, exactly nine days before the wedding day, seeds are sown in a wide bamboo tray or in a wide pot where soil and composts are evenly spread.

Normally, the auspicious grass is grown at the place of bride, however, it can also be grown at the groom’s place. Pujas are offered daily. Well, this tray of navadhanya grass is brought to the choultry by elders and is placed in the bride’s room before the arrival of the groom. Some of the very sacred rituals of wedding take place before Navadhanya grass.

As soon as the bride arrives at the choultry, it is here she is brought by the groom’s mother (would-be-mother in–law) or by his sisters (would-be-sister-in-laws) to untie the madilakki. After which the butter milk is offered to the bride from the family members of the groom. 

Likewise, on the arrival of the groom, it is to this same place he is brought by the family members of the bride and is offered butter milk once he performs the puja. 

Customs and Rituals Performed in the Choultry

Predominantly, it is the members and relatives of the bride’s family who arrive at the choultry first during a wedding. A few relatives of the bride reach venue even before the arrival of the bride to make some arrangements that helps carrying out the rituals smoothly. 

On the arrival of the bride, the Sumangalis present there will splash water gently on her foot and perform aarathi (lamps with wicks are placed in a tray and lighted, then rotated in a circular motion around the face to ward off the ‘evil eye’). Once the bride is ushered in, the groom’s arrival is eagerly awaited and an excitement of joy fills the air.

As soon as the bridegroom arrives with his parents, family members, relatives and well wishers, the excitement in the bride’s camp is coupled with the beehive of activities. The parents of the bride and her brothers, cousins (would-bebrother-in-laws of the groom) and relatives come out eagerly along with the members of the olaga (a band that performs on the auspicious ocassions) and people carrying mangaladravya (auspicious articles like turmeric, vermilion, etc.). 

At the entrance of the hall, the would-be-brother-in-law washes the foot and hands of the groom and then places a garland around his neck. The coconuts are broken by pounding against the ground. During all these activities the olaga band plays the music in the backdrop. 

Meanwhile, the mother of the bride welcomes the mother of the groom by offering Kumkum (vermilion) and flowers. Similarly, she welcomes the other Sumangalis accompanied by her. Once the mangaladravya carrying people perform aarthi to the groom, he and his camp are officially ushered in.

Customs of Applying the Oil

The ritual of applying oil at Kalyana Mantapa is first conducted on the groom and then on the bride. The groom after having taken bath sits on the stool meant for the occasion decorated by the Sumangalis. 

While performing these rituals,he keeps his right leg first. The Sumangalis then dot his forehead with Kumkum and apply the sesame oil on his head; then the turmeric paste well-mixed with the sesame oil is applied on his back, arms and the legs. This ritual is normally done by 5 or 9 Sumangalis; every sumangali present there can also perform it. Once the ritual comes to an end, a members from the olaga comes to the groom and pours milk on the toes of the groom and spreads it gently with a sharp instrument to ward off the ‘evil eye’. 

On this occasion, tambula and dakshine (honorary money) are presented to the olaga member. Then the paddy pounding ritual is performed (explained in detail later).

Later, a brief ritual called ‘haalin tatte haarisuvudu’ (flying of the milk plate) is conducted. For this, some milk is poured into a plate and a golden ring is placed, then another plate is covered upside down over it. This is held by a Sumangali with the border of her saree and moved from back to forth for three times over the groom’s head. Likewise, 5 Sumangalis perform the ritual and then aarathi is performed to the groom. At the end, he is asked to bath afresh.

Correspondingly, the Sumangalis conduct the similar rituals on bride too. The bride dressed in a white saree and white blouse sits on the hasemane placing the right leg first. Then a Sumangali applies Kumkum on the forehead of the bride and sticks a piece of tied flower to her braid. Later, a turmeric paste mixed with sesame oil is applied on the cheeks of the bride and then to her arms, legs and foot. 

After the ritual is conducted by 5 or 9 Sumangalis, one of the members of the olaga pours milk on her toes and spreads it gently with a sharp instrument to ward off the ‘evil eye’. Then, paddy pounding ritual is conducted and the ritual of ‘haalina tatte haarisuvudu’ is performed. 

Paddy Pounding Ritual

In order to perform the paddy pounding ritual two wooden pestles (onake) and a mortar (kundani) is required. Whitewashed pestles and the mortar are well-decorated. Mango leaves are tied on the pestles. 

Thereafter, paddy is filled in a mortar before which bananas, betel leaves, betel nuts and dakshine (honorary money) are placed. Afterwards, the five Sumangalis are offered kumkum and tamboola placed before the mortar and requested to pound the paddy. Each Sumangali pounds it 5 times. 

Bride’s Adornment and Placing the Toe Ring:

Traditionally, it is the bride’s supposed-sister-in-law or her close associate who takes up the responsibility of beautifying and adorning her. Now-a-days, this task is handed over to the beauticians. Whoever does it, they place the toe ring to the bride. 

Arivenu and the Rituals

Arivenus, are the earthen pots of various size and dimension which are decorated and placed for felicitous rituals. They hold phenomenal importance in the weddings of Raju Kshatriya community. 

In earlier days, they were directly brought to the choultry after the arrival of bride, groom and the Purohith.

Now-a-days, they are brought a little earlier and kept in the store rooms of the choultry so as make available readily. An essential aspect to be noted here is that the arivenus are never brought to the residence of neither bride nor the groom; they are directly shipped to the choultry. Once the Purohith arrives, he commands them to the bride’s room. 

The arivenus brought thus are placed above one another on the tray of the Navadhanya grass. The big earthen pot is filled with water and the rest with turmeric, vermilion, betel leaves, betel nuts, dakshine and banana. At this time, Puja is performed to the arivenus by that person who had untied the madilakki of the bride, as per the customs. Later, Bride also performs Naandi puja here. 

The Naandi Puja of Bride (To be done only after Groom’s Naandi Puja)

Chronologically, the groom will do the Naandi puja first and after a while followed by certain rituals the bride performs her Nandi puja. 

The Naandi puja offered by the groom is discussed in detail further. 

Now, returning to Naandi puja offered by the bride, it is performed under the guidance of the Purohith in front of the arivenus and the tray containg the navadhanya grass. For this, Purohith spreads rice evenly on a tray and writes ‘Sri Naandi’ on it and then the name of the household deity of bride, after which a shodashopachar puja (the puja performed in 16 steps) is performed by the bride under the guidance of Purohith. 

Finishing this, she circumbulates around the tray and offers her salutation. Later bride hands over tambula for five Sumangalis. Then the bride is escorted by Sumangalis to the Chappara (mantapa) prepared for the wedding to seek blessings of the elders. 

Adornment of the Groom

The groom is embellished with the traditional attire Kacche Panche (a traditional way of tying dhothi around the loin), shalya (towel) on the shoulder and ornaments, on this grand ocassion; a devine tilak (devara naama) is applied on his forehead. 

It is his maternal uncle who usually takes the responsibility of adorning the groom. Once the groom is ready, he and his father are offered milk and fruits by his mother. After fulfilling these rituals, groom’s father walks him hand-in-hand to the Chappara (mantapa erected for the Maangalyadharana and other rituals). Once the groom arrives at the mantapa, he seeks the blessings of elders and older Sumangalis by reverentially bowing to them. Then, the Purohith will put a sacred thread of three strands around the shoulder of the groom. The groom will bow to the Purohith and sit by his side. 

Upanayana (Sacred Thread Ceremony)

The Purohith considers the groom sitting by his side as the vatu (an unmarried boy) and refines him by whispering the sacred Gayatri Mantra to his ear. 

Thus initiated from the teacher (Purohith), the vatu (here, the groom) bows to him with reverence and goes for a bhikshatana (mendicancy or begging for alms). Firstly the groom collects alms from his mother and later moves to others. 

After collecting the alms, he comes back to the teacher (Purohith) and offers them by placing at his foot and kneels before him. 

Yagnopavitha Daharana (Placing of the Sacred Thread) 

Generally, Raju Kshatriyas wear a sacred thread containing nine strands. In general, an unmarried man (vatu) wears the thread of 6 strands and a married man wears the thread of nine strands. 

Under the guidance of the Purohith, the groom’s father places the sacred thread to the groom. The thread is made to wear in such a way that it covers diagonally from the left of the shoulder to the right upper loin. After this the groom is blessed by his father, teacher and those present in the ceremony by splashing akshate. 

After the yagnopaveetha dharana the vatu (groom) will do the ritual of achaman (the ritual performed by those who wear sacred thread). 

Naandi Karya 

After the Upanayana ceremony, the groom performs the Naandi Karya with his parents under the guidance of the  Purohith. 

For this a new cloth is placed inside a tray and rice is poured and spread evenly on it. The Purohith writes ‘Shri Naandi’, on this and then writes the name of the household deity of groom and places the areca nut halves in the tray. 

Subsequently, the groom performs the puja as guided by the Purohith. 

Kaashi Yatra 

After the Naandi Puja the groom is all set for Kaashi Yaatra (pilgrimage to sacred town of Kashi). By then, the elders or the to-be-brother-in-law comes to him and assures him of giving away the bride and the possessions. 

Thus, he requests the groom to not to go for Kashi and successfully brings the groom back to the mantapa. At this time, the parents of the groom and the bride will sit together with Purohith for Naandi Nishchitarta (Naandi engagement). This is when, the groom’s family presents mangaladravya for the bride, which is received by her parents. 

Once these rituals are over, the bride is taken for Naandi puja to her room (as explained earlier). Once she completes the rituals, she returns to mantap, both bride and groom are made to sit together and the groom is offered sankalike panche (a form of dhothi), turban, baasinga (decorative head piece) and other possessions. 

Tying of Kankana 

Five strands of wet thread is added with a strand of sheep wool (kambali daara) and is twisted and tied. Two such threads are prepared for the occasion and are called Kankana. 

Under the guidance of the Purohith, the groom takes one of the Kankanas and first touches it to the bride’s right arm and then to her left arm and finally ties it on her right arm. Similarly, the bride also ties the Kankana to the groom. 

Maangalya Puja 

Betel leaves, betel nuts, coconut, turmeric and vermilion are placed in a tray. Then the maangalya (the holy sacred necklace worn by married hindu women), is tied to the coconut and placed in the tray. 

Puja is offered by the bride and groom under the guidance of Purohith. Then the Purohith takes the tray containing maangalya to the elders and the people gathered there to reverentially touch it and thus give their acceptance and blessings for the marriage. 

Jeera (Cumin Seeds) and Jaggery ritual 

A piece of cloth is held high between the bride and groom by two persons. Two separate trays containing cumin seeds and jaggery are arranged for the occasion. As a part of the ritual Purohith cleanses the palms of the bride and the groom with holy water. 

Then both are asked to cup their hands and it is filled with cumin seeds and jaggery. Similarly, the bride’s father also fills his cupped hands with jeera and jaggery. 

As guided by the Purohith bride’s father places his cupped hands above the head of the groom and likewise the cupped hands of the groom are placed above the head of the bride. As guided, jeera and jaggery are poured gently on the head. 

Later, the act is performed between groom and the bride who slip jeera and jaggery on each other’s head thrice. It is to be remembered that the olaga keeps on playing on the backdrop while all these rituals are held. 

Pouring of the Milk (Haalina Dhaare) 

The maangalyas dipped in the milk are slipped through the hole of a yoke meant for the occasion over three times. 

Each time the groom recieves it from the hands of the Purohith (It is to be noted that, unlike other communities in Raju Kshatriyas two separate mangalyas are made for the wedding -- one from bride’s family and another from groom’s family. During the ceremony, both are simultaneously slipped through the hole of the yoke). The olaga band continues to perform in the backdrop while all these rituals are carried on the dais. 

Maangalya Dharane (Wearing of the Maangalya) 

As the auspicious time (muhurtam) for the tying of the maangalya approaches, the Purohith holds both the mangalyas high in order to show all those present in the ceremony. 

Thus, he gets a formal consent from every one gathered to proceed with the sacred act of maangalya dharane. Simultaneously, a message is passed on to the olaga band to play gattimela (loud music). Amidst the chanting of the hymns and the loud music of the olaga the groom ties the two maangalyas to bride, one after the other, with three knots on each. 

Hence, together the groom and bride step to a new phase of life called Grihastaashram, with their new found status as husband and wife. The wishes and blessings are showered on them by the parents, family members, relatives, well wishers and the invitees. 

Talabalakki (Pouring of Sacred Rice) 

Talabalakki is prepared for the occasion several days before the wedding ceremony. For this, rice is cleaned and stored in a separate container. 

After the maangalya dharana the talabalakki is poured into the cupped hands of bride’s father and is asked to slip it on the head of the groom by holding high, thrice. Later, talabalakki is poured to the cupped hands of groom and asked to pour it gently thrice on the bride’s head by holding high. 

Then, talabalakki is poured in to the cupped hands of both bride and the groom and they slip it on each other’s head with joy. 

Saman Maale 

A set of new garlands kept aside for the occasion by the Purohith is handed to the groom and the bride. Then, the couple is guided to exchange the garlands twice. After which both are asked to sit down. Now is the time for the assembled guests and invitees to wish and bless the newly married couple by coming near to them and splashing akshatas. Gifts are also presented. 

Homa Karya and Saptapadhi 

The ritual of homa karya (a ritual where offerings made to the sacrificial fire lit in the fire altar) is performed by the groom and bride accompanied by the brother-in-law of the groom (in case, if the bride has no brothers then this act is performed by one of those, who in relationship becomes brother-in-law to the groom). 

For this ritual, the brother-in-law of the groom segregates the battada aralu (made out of paddy) and hands over battada aralu and samitthu (9 types of herbal sticks) to the groom. And, the groom offers it to the homa kunda (the fire altar where the sacred fire is burnt) and then pours in ghee to it. 

At the end, the couple offers prayers to homa kunda and circumbulates around it completing the ritual of saptapadi. 

Naagoli Rituals 

The rituals discussed so far emphasise on the transition of the lives of bride and the groom to the married status. However, the rituals of Naagoli and thereafter make the newly married couple comfortable with their new found status. 

The Naagoli rituals are lively and symbolic of the gaiety of life, thus making the newly married couple cheerful. As the rituals are held in the mantap, the customs demands Naagoli square to be prepared. Big earthen pots are placed near the mantap to symbolise the four corners of a square. Lighted lamps are arranged in front of these pots facing the inner side of the square. 

Also, another earthen pot is placed in the middle. Then, the small grass pots are placed on the earthen pots to further indicate the corners. On one of the opposite squares, pictures of the two elephants are picturised with rice and salt. On the other hand, the Sumangalis keep the articles and items ready which are required for performing puja and other rituals under the guidance of the elders. 

For the occasion, both bride and groom dress themselves up in the new attires presented to them by their in-laws. The puja is performed under the guidance of the Purohith. 

Game of Elephants 

As mentioned earlier, the Purohith, draws the pictures of the two elephants with rice and salt at the opposite side of a Naagoli square. Fruits and tamboola are placed before them. Bride is guided to stand before the salt elephant and the groom before rice elephant. 

On this occasion, the bride asks the groom to give his rice elephant in exchange with her salt elephant. The deal is bluntly rejected by the groom, but persistently the bride makes the proposal three times. Still not accepted, finally she gives up her attempt and compromises by saying, “let’s keep one’s elephant with oneself and happily ride on them.” The game is played under the assistance of Purohith. 

Swinging ritual 

Swinging ritual is conducted in the room where arivenus are placed. The vaskal (outer frame of the door) is nailed so as to tie the nine yard length panche (dhothi) in the form of a swing. Grinding stone is place inside it. 

The newly married couple offers puja for it by splashing akshate and sandal and then start swinging it like they do for the baby. Simultaneously, the Olaga band starts imitating the cry of a baby with their music. A lullaby is sung. Then the couple stops swinging by saying that the baby has stopped crying. 

The ritual is symbolic of procreation and represents the aspiration of the couple for a child who can make them proud. 

Immersing of the Hand ritual 

This ritual is done by the bride, groom and the brotherin-law of the groom. If the bride has no brothers then the ritual is performed by the deemed brother-in-law who earlier performed the ritual of washing the foot of the groom on his arrival at the kalyana mantapa. 

A small wide mouthed earthen pot (kudike) is chosen for the ritual. The pot is filled with water, betel leaves, and betel nuts. A golden ring, golden and silver bangles are immersed into it. At the hint of the brotherin-law, both groom and bride should immerse their hands simultaneously to dig out the golden ring. 

The curiosity lies in who takes out the ring and shows it to spectators first. This is done thrice during which the assembled family members, relatives and well wishers enjoy the game and cheer for the groom and bride. 

Untying of the Kankana: 

The kankana tied on the arm of the bride and groom is mutually untied by them. First the groom unties the bride’s kankana and then the bride unties the groom’s as the Olaga band continues to play the auspicious music. 

The Send-off 

As the groom prepares to leave with his parents, relatives and well wishers, it is time for the bride to join him. Both bride and groom will kneel before the elders to seek their blessings. The parents of the bride offers kumkum, tambula and dakshine to the groom’s parents. Then they give away their daughter to the custody of the groom’s parents. 

The parents of the groom assure bride’s parents to look after their daughter as their own. Now, the groom is offered tambula by the bride as guided by her parents. Then, they ask their daughter to place her hand on the tambula held by the groom after which groom promises that he never goes against the wishes of his wife in dharma, artha and kama (righteousness, wealth and worldly desire). 

Once the groom makes his promise, the bride kneels to him and seeks his blessings. Subsequently, the bride joins the groom and starts for her new home with in-laws, relatives and well wishers. 

Vadhu Pravesha (Bride enters groom’s home) 

The bride entering the home of groom is a very auspicious ocassion and naturally the groom’s place is filled with joy. Preparations are made to welcome the newly married couple. As soon as the couple arrives at the residence.

Sumangalis perform aarathi at the threshold. Then, bride offers puja to the threshold. After which comes the much awaited moment of bride’s entry to her new abode. Bride has to enter the groom’s home by spilling the rice filled in a ser (traditional grain measuring utensil) placed on the threshold by gently kicking it from her right leg so that it falls inside the house. Then the bride enters the home with right leg placed first. 

The bride and groom who enter home are guided to pay a visit to puja room (worshipping place where devine idols and photos are placed) and offer their prayers. Bride stays in her home for either 3 or 5 days and then goes back to her parents’ home with her husband. The Purohith will decide an auspicious date for it. 

Then she comes back to her home (her husband’s home) only after completing the rituals of three months. But, in recent times, a slight change has been made to this ritual and is performed on the very day of wedding itself.